国外也有段子手：伟大的教练都是相似的！

小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，欧冠风生水起，各大联赛也是看点多多。国际米兰笑傲意大利国家德比，穆帅遭遇三连败，而曼城、巴萨、皇马、拜仁等球队则纷纷获胜。好了，话不多说，让我们看看国外段子手们的犀利吐槽吧！

(图)上图的老司机们，你们都认得嘛？

【尴尬连败，曼联1-3负沃特福德】

Mrjobby(曼联球迷)：若问悲情都几许？范厨穆鸟，莫耶老吉，满是XJBT。(It’s hurt to see us play sh*itingly no matter under Moyes, Giggs, LVG or Mou's period.)

Ryannnnnn(纽卡斯尔球迷)：2017年夏天：虽然我们曼联无缘英超，但我们依然有实力吸引大牌球员加盟的！(Summer 2017: "Manchester United attracts players even without Premier League football.")

Yhuaeb(哥本哈根球迷)：穆帅在他过去执教的34场比赛里输掉了16场，而他上一次输掉的16场比赛却用了111场…(Jose Mourinho has lost 16 of his last 34 matches after losing 16 of the previous 111 matches.)

Teponthecrack(英格兰球迷)：自从莫耶斯以来，范师傅和穆帅他们都一直率领红魔打破了一项又一项纪录，比如这次，是曼联30年来第一次输给沃特福德！(Moyes, Van Gaal and Mourinho have made many records these years, and in this game United made the record that defeated by Watford in 30 years…)

AbideMan(马赛球迷)：曼联也同样帮助别人打破纪录，比如这次为沃特福德进球的祖尼加，他上次进球都得追随到2011年了…(Man United helping break records. First goal since 2011 for Zuniga. )

Coljung(桑德兰球迷)：唉，当沃特福德上一次击败曼联的时候，这场比赛登场的大部分球员还没有出生呢…(Most of the players on the pitch weren't born the last time Watford beat United. Fact.)

(图)沃特福德球员卡普埃与曼联球员博格巴数据对比

DatTibbsYo(阿森纳球迷)：哈哈穆帅，等着输给我们之后被解雇吧！(LMAO you will get fired when defeated by us!)

QuantumCake(曼联球迷)：吓得我赶紧看了看积分榜，果然你们是有恃无恐的，太坏了！(I was so scared after checking you rank in league table.)

(图)曼联的两个丢球和中场失控关系巨大...

SmokeQuack(巴萨球迷)：从拉什福德在2016年2月上演曼联一线队首秀开始算起，他已经成为目前红魔阵中的第一射手了！不过对花重金引援的曼联来说，这真的很难说是一个好消息…(Rashford has scored more goals for Manchester United than any other player since his debut in February 2016. But hard to say it is a good news for United who spent too much money these years.)

Andlion-air(英格兰球迷)：爆照性新闻：尤文准备1.2亿欧元报价伊卡尔迪！(BREAKING: Juventus buys Icardi for €120 million.)

(图)尤文的两套阵容...强到没朋友

Asahno 94 (国际米兰球迷)：天啦噜，我们成为了意甲的利物浦了吗？我简直预见到下周我小国际打赢罗马，却要输给恩波利了…(We become the Liverpool of the Serie A, I can't wait to lose against Empoli next week and win against AS Roma.)

YOUniustus(AC米兰球迷)：好怀念和利物浦双飞的年代，那个时候，我们还能在欧冠决赛被他们绝杀…(I really miss the days playing with Liverpool in Cl, in which we could lose a final goal at Cl final at that time…)

(AC米兰球迷)：我们越来越爱回忆了，是不是因为不敢期待未来了？(Focusing on memories reflects a pessimistic future.)

(图)令人回忆无限的替补席

Ryukishi (尤文图斯球迷)：从这比赛来看，虽然我们后卫这么多，但我们最需要的就是马斯切拉诺这种给力后腰啊…二哥你快去忽悠忽悠人家…(Although we have such number of defenders but a DM like Mascherano is what we need most, hoping Alves could persuade him to join.)

Smallabe(巴萨球迷)：最狠莫过妇人心！(F**king the old lady!)

(图)爱情这种事，也是勉强不来的

nixmankey21 (国际米兰球迷)：这场比赛最令我感到惊喜的地方，是我小国际的首发11人中的意大利人竟然比尤文还多！(More Italian players in the starting 11 of Inter than the one of Juve. The first surprise of tonight match.)

【大胜胡尔城！枪手重回第四，欧冠逼平巴黎】

Manere(阿森纳球迷)：我要稳稳的幸福，能抵挡英超的残酷，在混乱的积分榜，能有个归宿。(Being in the 4th place gives me a special happiness, it’s just like the home to a tramp.)

AdmnGt(阿森纳球迷)：近二十几年，只有两位枪手球员令我敬佩，第一是亨利，第二就是卡瓦尼。(Only two gunners won my respect in twenty years, one of them is Henry, the other is Cavani.)

Arothee1 (巴黎球迷)：我们中出了一个叛徒！(He is a spook of Wenger!)

TheCheeks(伯恩利球迷)：有一种球员是不幸的，他们在面对强队的时候多次错失良机，球队因此未能取胜，他就会被球迷们骂为大赛软脚虾，比如卡瓦尼。(Some players are so unlucky that they didn’t seize the opportunities in key matches, the team paid the price and they would be blamed as wussy in big cases. Cavani is an example.)

Quansy(利物浦球迷)：还有另一种球员也是不幸的，他们在面对弱队的时候进球如麻，球队赢得酣畅淋漓，他就会被球迷们骂只会虐菜，比如卡瓦尼。(Some players are so unlucky that they seize the opportunities in inessential matches, the team won with no sweat and they would be blamed for only shooting in small cases. Cavani is an example.)

(图)欧冠主题曲，你会唱哪一句呀？

【强势连胜，曼城4-0伯恩茅斯】

Christopher(曼城球迷)：从现在起，我最爱的球员是德布劳迪尼奥！(da Bruynho is my favorite player from now on.)

Ewankenobi(莱斯特城球迷)：瓜帅当教练7年来总共输了42场比赛，其中只有15场是输了1球以上，其余的要么只输了1个球，要么就是输在点球大战了…(Pep Guardiola has lost 42 games since he became a manager 7 years ago. Only 15 of them have been by more than one goal. The rest have been by one goal or by penalty shootout.)

(图)钱并不能买来球迷，曼城的豪门之路，任重而道远

BobPlager(曼城球迷)：我已经迫不及待地相看我城和巴萨踢比赛啦！(I want Barcelona vs Manchester City now!!!!)

Kerzo23 (巴萨球迷)：不不不，我们都输利物浦0-4的弱队，怎敢和英超榜首较量呢，在英超我们就是保级队。(It’s cute we are just lost 0-4 to Liverpool the top team in PL would crash us easily, we can only struggle to avoid relegation in PL, OK?)

Apjestan21(埃因霍温球迷)：明人不装暗逼，豪门莫装菜鸡。(Come on Big giants don’t be too much modest.)

【遇强则强！利物浦2-1切尔西】

Third_Turd(利物浦球迷)：哈哈，我们能每周都和强队踢比赛吗？(LOL Can we play strong teams every week?)

KinQuro(利物浦球迷)：完了，下周又得输给胡尔城啦！(Watch us lose to Hull next week.)

(图)利物浦攻占伦敦城！

Baerren(多伦多球迷)：从你们4-0胜巴萨，又0-4输美因茨开始，我就知道你们这赛季就按这个模式来了！(I knew it when you won 4-0 against Barca but lost 0-4 to Mainz.)

Kirkbywool(利物浦球迷)：如果你看利物浦的比赛的最后十分钟还能坐在椅子上，那你肯定不是一位真正的红军球迷…(It wouldn't be a Liverpool game if you didn't spend the last ten minutes on the edge of your seat...)

Churchy11(罗马球迷)：如果波霸能进一个亨德森那样的进球，天空体育都会给他开一个专栏来报道这事儿…(If Pogba scored Henderson's goal, Sky Sports would've dedicated a channel to him.)

【莱万神仙球，拜仁3-1因戈尔施塔特】

MichelPlage(英格兰球迷)：莱万这样长得帅，球技高超，人品还贼好的极品男神，我一汉子都动心了…(Even a man like me could have fallen in love with such a handsome, skilled and kind player as Lewany.)

(图)一脸懵逼的小朋友们和...博阿滕

Streetsyo(法国球迷)：有了诺伊尔，感觉就像在考试中可以作弊一样…(Having neuer is like a cheat in exam…)

【威武霸气！皇马创西甲连胜纪录】

Alitheboss(国际米兰球迷)：其实皇马球员们也挺不容易的，要是哪场踢得不好，教练可能就亲自上场了，以后这哪还有自己的位置啊？(Feel so sorry for rm players that if they didn’t perform well, the coach would be on the pitch himself!)

SharksPan(西班牙球迷)：齐祖在皇马第一个完整的赛季，希望他能像瓜帅在巴萨一样成功！事实上我觉得他俩的共同点还是挺多的。(It’s the first full season for Zidane in Madrid, hopefully he would be like Pep in Barca. As my view they have so many things in common.)

Mb1107(塞尔塔球迷)：比如说发型？(Such as haircut?)

【MSN齐发威！巴萨5-1莱内加斯】

BMC4(阿森纳球迷)：MSN甚至是以MSN的顺序进的球…(They even score in the MSN order.)

ConfusedStark(巴萨球迷)：MSN两年的时间里已经进了250个球啦！梅西102场97球46助攻，苏牙102场91球46助攻，内马尔93场62球31助攻！(MSN 250 goals in 2 years! MESSI 102 apps 97 goals 46 assists, SUAREZ 102 apps 91 goals 46 assists, NEYMAR 93 apps 62 goal 31 assists.)

BellWhiff(西班牙球迷)：我说你们仨，当射手榜第一就这么不好吗？至于让来让去的吗？(Seems like no one of MSN wants to be topscorer this season, is it that bad?)

(图)梅西2016年的数据展示...

亲爱的小伙伴们，本期“国外也有段子手”就给大家播报到这里啦。让我们拭目以待，期待下期更加精彩的歪果仁吐槽吧~

返回体育新闻首页>>