国外也有段子手：如此英超，怎能不爱？

2017/10/15 2:07:00 sports8.net 互联网

我懂用户，皆为贤良达能之士。尽享蹴鞠绵绵之乐，亦有旁骛靡靡之思。绿茵场上，凌波微步，百步穿杨，昼夜观之，仍不觉倦。而赛场之侧，雏鬘妍姝，粉黛红袖，亦令诸君难以自拔。五洲赛场，精彩纷呈，朝望英伦，暮思德意，遂开本栏目，尽寻西夷贤者之玑珠，以飨读者。

【费莱尼送礼，伊布献绝杀，曼联2-1莱斯特城】

dipsauze(英格兰球迷)：如此英超，岂能不爱？呃...社区盾杯也一样！(So eccited to watch a PL game!!!Hum...the same to Community Shield.)

DrRobotTheRob(格兰纳达球迷)：确实是一场精彩的比赛！不过社区盾杯是什么？(That's really great! but what's the Community Shield?)

Edtocitus(曼联球迷)：伊布只用了一场比赛，就帮助曼联夺得冠军！(It only took Zlatan one official game at United to win them a trophy.)

Conundrum98(萨格勒布迪纳摩球迷)：朋友，你听说过维尔马伦吗？(Do you know Vermaelen bro.)

Timatebr0(尤文图斯球迷)：费莱尼给瓦尔蒂的助攻真是太精彩了！我想大概是因为他头发染料用多了渗进脑子里的缘故吧！(Beautiful assist by Fellaini. His hair dye must have seeped into his brain.)

ShadyDog (曼联球迷)：费莱尼…废了你…(F**k you Fellaini...)

zackya89(英格兰球迷)：先不说这个助攻，为什么欧洲杯上比利时对阵英格兰的时候没让费莱尼首发？(forget about this goal, How the fuck this guy wasnt a starter for England in the Euros is beyond me.)

Elonaleotipler(曼联球迷)：如果鲁尼继续这**一样的表现的话，估计伊布就要揍他了…(If rooney keeps playing like this shit...he will get punched by ibra.)

GilsWorld(皇马球迷)：从瓦拉内、祖马到拜利，穆帅发掘青年才俊的功力令人钦佩。(From Varane, Zouma to Bailly, Mourinho knows how to pick them.)
GilsWorld(未知主队球迷)：穆帅在赛后说，要把这场胜利献给未出场的7位球员，以及带领球队获得足总杯冠军的范加尔。(Mourinho: "I dedicate the victory to seven players who didn't make the squad and LVG who won the trophy to get us here."Unverified account.)

Amlk960(罗马球迷)：穆帅说的7个人里包括施魏因施泰格吗？(But is Schweinsteiger one of the seven?)

piaLimitless(利物浦球迷)：听到迈克尔-欧文作为解说员，提到曼联时称为“我们”，心里真不是滋味…(Surreal hearing Michael Owen use "we" as part of Manchester United...)
DannyJLloyd 24(莱斯特城球迷)：如果几年前你告诉我说莱斯特城要和曼联在温布利踢社区盾杯，我肯定会满脸惊讶地说：“我们怎么可能会获得足总杯冠军？”(If a few years ago you told me we'd be playing Man U at Wembley for the Community Shield I'd ask 'how did we win the FA cup?')

【热刺6-1大胜国米，曼奇尼下课】

Orthocrat 16 (罗马球迷)：该死，没了曼奇尼的国米，对我们的威胁更大了…(Damn it, now we actually have to be worried about Inter without Mancini.)

Dwimer(AC米兰球迷)：出于人道主义考虑，我真不希望小国际再出现在这个栏目里了…(Based on humanitarian considerations I’d rather not see inter in reddit anymore.)

(图)米兰德比成为了“中国德比”

Rhombus(澳大利亚球迷)：我觉得曼奇尼可能要去中国了…(I think Mancini would come to China soon…)

Friendkyle(西汉姆联球迷)：被打脸最狠并不是曼乔，而是霍奇森…(It’s Hodgson rather than Mancini to feel ashamed.)
【利物浦4-0大胜巴萨，0-4负美因茨】
Unhushbabe(莱斯特城球迷)：这TM就尴尬了…(It made us awkward.)

Ofautumn(巴萨球迷)：没想到我萨竟被美因茨血虐8球。(Can’t believe we are lost 0-8 to Mainz.)

Crnivuk(哥本哈根球迷)：巴萨不哭，今夜我们都是加泰罗尼亚人！(Don’t cry barca, always love you Catalonia.)

Mycahhh(未知主队球迷)：不想再隐瞒下去了，其实我是美因茨30年老球迷…(I’d like to say actually I had been a Mainz fan for so many years in secret…)

koemer 62 (美因茨球迷)：上次我们和利物浦交手时其实赢了5-0…不过第二年就从德甲降级了…(Last time we played Liverpool, we won 5-0 and got relegated the same year…)

Hueyhus(利物浦球迷)：我就知道利物浦的水平根本混不了德甲，充其量也就在西甲凑合拿个冠军！(Guess Liverpool won't make it in Bundesliga. At most La Liga is our upper limit.)

Reveren 651(南安普顿球迷)：马内接拉拉纳的助攻攻破巴萨球门！这真给我造成了成吨的伤害…(Mané goal from Lallana assist against Barcelona. Only hurts a lot.)

(注：马内和拉拉纳都是从南安普顿转会至利物浦)

(图)小马哥在面对老东家利物浦时进了球，但他并没有庆祝，向他致敬！

emre2345(利物浦球迷)：这真是一场精彩的比赛！我们踢得就像巴萨一样！诶？等等，我们的对手是谁？(What a game, just like watching Barcelona！Oh…wait, which one are we faced?)

Ohapollo(曼联球迷)：赢下巴萨时的利物浦球迷：“友谊赛也很能说明问题！球队总是充满求胜欲，今年将是我们的时代，红军即将征服英超！”输给美因茨时的利物浦球迷：“这有什么，友谊赛而已，明天就被人忘了，球员们才不在乎这种鸡肋比赛呢！”(Liverpool fans yesterday: Friendlies do actually matter. Teams always want to win and clearly this is Liverpool's year. Liverpool has now a perfect team to win the PL. Liverpool fans today: So what? It's a friendly. It will be forgotten tomorrow. Players don't care one bit about these meaningless games.)

【表现出色！阿森纳3-2战胜曼城】
Insicur (阿森纳球迷)：我说什么来着？最强之人已在阵中！(lol Wenger would be quite satisfied with the squad now.)

ParkerZA (阿森纳球迷)：很好，沃尔科特回归就是最好的引援！(Oh good, recovering Walcott's like a new signing.)

Moutaryan(曼联球迷)：是不是因为沃尔科特快要续约了...(Is Walcott's contract up for renewal soon?)

【两连平！巴西国奥0-0伊拉克国奥】
Moonshiver(纽卡斯尔球迷)：内马尔正在想：“早知道我和这群猪队友一起踢球，还不如去踢美洲杯呢！”(Neymar thinking "FML I should've gone to Copa America instead of playing with these idiots")

NalAceAve(皇马球迷)：这样他就能和另外一群猪队友一起踢球了。("then he could've played with those idiots instead of these idiots")

Esbcher92(美国球迷)：不，至少马儿在踢海地的时候还能近几个球呢，还能尝尝7-1获胜的滋味。("ffs he could have scored some on Haiti’s and won a 7-1 at least.)

IcoHispanic78(巴西球迷)：我怎么感觉现在就像一个南美的英格兰球迷一样？I feel like an England fan in south America.

MohammedCOYG(伊拉克球迷)：加油伊拉克！我在凌晨零两点的巴格达为你加油，你是我最无上的光荣！(Cmon Iraq!!! I’m in Bagdad staying up at 2am for this, you are my greatest glory!)

【莱斯特城老板送福利，每人一辆宝马车！】
Opleya 1126(切尔西球迷)：阿扎尔至今还在等着签收宝马呢！(Eden is still waiting for his BMW i8 to be delivered.)

MajesticTower(桑德兰球迷)：坎特真可惜，去了切尔西就领不到宝马车了…(Sorry for Kante didn’t has one outside Stamford Bridge.)

Cereberus(未知主队球迷)：有了切尔西的大巴，谁还稀罕宝马啊？(Who needs a BMW when you've got a bus.)

Razzler1973(切尔西球迷)：坎特说，当他在切尔西遇见阿扎尔的时候，第一句话便是：“你也许不曾知晓，在我们莱斯特城，闻听到你的名字，人人都感激涕零。”(Kanté: When I first saw Eden Hazard here at Chelsea I said to him "Maybe [you] do not know, but everyone [at Leicester] thanks you")

【肥皂剧要结束？博格巴奔赴曼市体检】

badgarok725(曼联球迷)：波霸将在48小时内加盟！如果那时候还没官宣，就请把第一句话再读一遍。(Pogba would join us in 48 hours! Read it again if not officially announced then.)

Pestoaiol(曼联球迷)：哈哈，我魔青训出品球员成为了世界新标王！虽然这钱是我们自己付的…(Glad to see player from our academy become the most expensive in the world…despite we paid the money ourselves.)