国外也有段子手：十个冠军来换女朋友！

2017/10/15 6:17:08 sports8.net 互联网

大家好，欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，各大联赛纷纷角逐出了各自的杯赛冠军，拜仁、巴萨、尤文和巴黎都上演了双冠王的好戏。另外，曼联的范师傅发愤图强，率领红魔勇夺本赛季足总杯冠军。好了，话不多说，让我们看看国外段子手们的犀利吐槽吧！

【激烈至极！巴萨勇夺国王杯冠军】

Pornhubking (巴萨球迷)：这个世界有45亿4千3百万年的历史，能恰好生活在梅西的时代，我已足够幸运。(The world is 4.543 billion years old and I am already somehow lucky enough to exist at the same time as Lionel Messi.)

(图)三星：为人类更美好而设计。梅西：你这是种族歧视！

Hopskind12(利物浦球迷)：阿尔巴那脚射门真的不能再苏亚雷斯了。(Alba’s goal can’t be more in Suarez’s way )

Ubertom(巴萨球迷)：亲爱的巴萨，从今而后，不论境遇优劣，贫穷还是富有，健康还是疾病，我都会爱你，尊敬你并珍惜你，直到死亡也不会分开。我向上帝宣誓，并向他保证我对你的神圣誓言。(I take thee Barca as my life partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. According to God’s holy ordinance and there to plight thee my troth.)

(图)曾经一起经历平淡，才会共同走进辉煌

Callmoremoney(凯尔特人球迷)：别肉麻了…要是拿10座巴萨的冠军奖杯能换一个女朋友，你愿意吗？(Don’t be so nauseated, would you like to give up 10 trophies of Barca provided it can bring you a real girl friend?)

Ubertom(巴萨球迷)：是不是搁这给我扯犊子呢？我可生来就是巴萨球迷！！！嗯…是的，我愿意…(WTF…I am born to be a Cules!!! Uhhh…yes, I do.)

(图)然而现实总是残酷的...

【逆转夺冠！范师傅收获足总杯冠军】

Yealdmuhub(塞维利亚球迷)：红魔告诉了我一些人生经验，那就是实力不行就不要装枪作四。闷声夺个杯赛冠军，那是坠吼的。(Sometimes you can’t always keep in big 4 of domestic league as arsenal does for your poor performance, but a trophy of another side still means much, Man Utd are good example.)

Nickp1991(未知主队球迷)：BBC真是行业典范！在如此无聊的比赛中依然尝试让解说充满激情…(Good to see the BBC trying to add some excitement to the FA cup final, respect to them.)

(图)有位老人，他的爱从未离开

Envague(曼联球迷)：范师傅的战术真是绝妙至极！早早地让斯莫林红牌下场，这样他就进不了乌龙了！你看水晶宫在他被罚下后立马就不会踢球了。(Brilliant strategy from Louis van Gaal: Get Smalling sent off before he scores an own goal. Palace did fuck all after the red card.)

NtusChiellini(尤文图斯球迷)：上一次尤文和米兰在意大利杯决赛上相遇还是1990年，而当时英格兰足总杯的决赛双方恰恰正是曼联和水晶宫，也许冥冥之中自有天意….(Last time they met eachother in the Coppa Italia Final was in 1990 and it was played in the same period as the FA Cup Final which was... Crystal Palace vs Manchester United…Goodness…)

【送别瓜帅，拜仁点球战胜多特】

Bluestormqw(标准列日球迷)：穆勒在罚点球时竟然根本不看球，他怎敢这么做？(Müller didn't look at the ball when taking his penalty, how did he dare do that?)

Wabuff(美因茨球迷)：没关系，一向都是球看他。(uhm the ball does…)

(图)在执教巴萨和拜仁期间，瓜帅平均每20场比赛就会拿一座冠军奖杯

aman27de(曼城球迷)：瓜瓜在执教的每个赛季平均要拿3个大赛冠军，7年来已经捧了21次奖杯了…然而他才只有45岁。(Pep has an average of 3 big trophies per season as coach. 21 in 7 years. He's only 45Un.)

DarkPasta(罗马球迷)：另外，他在球员时代就曾获得过18座冠军奖杯了，加在一块，我很好奇有没有比瓜瓜拿过更多冠军的人了…(Plus he won 18 trophies as a player, wondering if anyone did more than him.)

Unhue12(拜仁球迷)：瓜帅在告别的时候留下了眼泪，他对这支球队的爱与诚真是令人动容。(Guardiola crying at the end, you can tell how much the game and his team meant to him)

(图)有些事，永远都不会改变

Giggsdick15inch(曼联球迷)：瓜瓜之所以哭泣，也许是他预见到了将要迎来3年无冠的悲惨未来吧…(Pep crying because he realises that he won't win a trophy for the next 3 years.)

AKUN16man(曼城球迷)：就是啊，你们有了穆帅，就基本锁定下赛季欧联杯冠军了，羡慕ing…(Can’t agree more. Really envy your sides are doomed to win the Europe League as Mou arrives.)

DeysQah(温哥华白帽队球迷)：唉，罗伊斯现在还是没能获得过一次大赛冠军，徒留我黯然神伤。(The fact that Reus still hasn't won a major trophy is very sad to me.)

JJYossarian(多特蒙德球迷)：没关系，他会在今年夏天获得欧洲杯冠军的。(But he will be European champion this year, so that's nice.)

【豪取11冠！大巴黎傲视法兰西】

Kloppite(利物浦球迷)：大巴黎在过去法国国内的12座冠军奖杯中豪夺11座…(PSG have now won 11 out of the last 12 domestic competitions in France.)

(图)有次伊布去跳伞，结果半空中伞没打开，伊布很生气，回去立马就退货了

Ipeijrew(喀山球迷)：我比较好奇要是把大巴黎的替补们组一个队，能在法甲排名第几。(I just wonder which place could the bench players of Paris manage if they were a team.)

Paicmhsc(蒙彼利埃球迷)：蒙彼利埃是最近从大巴黎手中夺走冠军的球队(2014年法国杯)，同时也是最近一支获得法甲冠军的其他球队(2012年法甲冠军)…(Montpellier still the last club who has eliminated PSG in a national cup (2014), and still the last club who beat them for the league title (2012).)