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国外也有段子手:段子永不死,只是渐凋零

2017/10/15 6:41:04 sports8.net 互联网

大家好,欢迎收看本期“国外也有段子手”!上周的比赛结束之后,五大联赛终于全部落幕……诶好像不对,曼联的比赛还没踢。不过,只要曼联与伯恩茅斯的补赛不出现“马夏尔梅开20度终救主”的戏码,各大联赛的悬念基本都已经全部揭晓了。好了,让我们来看看歪果仁对这个赛季有怎样的点评与回顾吧!

【热刺爆冷1-5输纽卡,阿森纳4-0维拉反超热刺获得英超亚军】

PureDarkness93(阿森纳球迷):我绝对不知道,热刺一支争冠的球队,怎么就争到第三名去了?(Can you imagine coming third in a two-horse race?)

alejpaz(皇马球迷):新闻本身就是段子。(The banter just writes itself)

GeneralSmedleyButsex(热刺球迷):我自杀的念头都有了。(I'm going to kill myself)

Youtossershad1job2do(彼得堡联球迷):你会在最后关头前功尽弃的。(You'll only fuck it up at the end)

kirikirikiri(阿森纳球迷):恭喜温格获得圣托特纳姆杯21连冠!(Wenger 21/21 in the St. Totteringham Day Trophy department)

Ahnylenater(阿森纳球迷):今天也许是我最爱的圣托特纳姆日!(That might be my favorite St. Totteringham's day yet)

rhuharb(未知主队球迷):阿森纳的赛季目标就是超过热刺,奖杯什么的根本无所谓啦。(Arsenal ambition is ending the season ahead of Spurs. Trophies or not.)

7rosicky7(阿森纳球迷):其实我挺希望热刺拿亚军的,那样的话我们就是冠军了!(Frankly I hope Spurs finished 2nd. That makes us the champion!)

AoE2manatarms(阿森纳球迷):这赛季我们排第二,希望别再有争四的梗了……(Arsenal finishing second, hopefully this is the death of the memes...)

PurplePride9844(阿森纳球迷):我们去年就是第三,之前也不总是第四啊。评论区就是这样,段子永不死,只是渐凋零。(We finished 3rd last year, and have done so before. This is Reddit, memes do not die, only circulate)

RunawaySlav(阿森纳球迷):十六强,我们来了!(Round of 16 here we come)

ImaStillInsane(利物浦球迷):这下温格又不卖吉鲁了。(And now Wenger will not replace Giroud.)

isonlegemyuheftobmed(俄罗斯球迷):最强签约已在阵中!(Like a new signing)

【巴萨赢球夺西甲冠军,皇马仅以1分之差位居第二】

thekhaos(皇马球迷):自从我们追上来之后,巴萨就再也没有失过球,干得不错。巴萨的这个赛季做得很好,同时也要为拼到最后的皇马和马竞感到骄傲。(Didn't drop a goal once the Liga was in threat. Good job. Great La Liga season and proud of Atleti and Real for pushing Barca to the end.)

felandath(巴萨球迷):你们的强势反弹也值得一吹。联赛最后12轮全胜却没有夺冠,这在西甲也是头一遭。(Excellent recovery by you folk. I don't think any team has won the last 12 matches of a league campaign and not win the title.)

TomasRoncero(皇马球迷):贝尼特斯搞砸了联赛,但齐达内成功地让我们重新回到了争冠队伍。下一站,米兰!(Benitez lost us the league, but Zidane did a hell of a job putting us back in the race. Onto Milan.)

Sidonian7(曼联球迷):苏牙最后五场比赛进了14个球,我的天哪。(14 goals in 5 games from Suarez, my god.)

RayPissed(利物浦球迷):在利物浦的时候他就是个怪物,现在他都要变成上帝了。(He was a freak at Liverpool but at Barcelona he's turned Godly.)

(图)被萨迷朋友秀优越了?给他看看这张图吧~

Varnagel(未知主队球迷):连道格拉斯的西甲冠军数都超过C罗了。(Lord Douglas has now won more La Liga titles than likes of Cristiano Ronaldo)

Sault9(奥兰多球迷):准确说是三场两冠。道格拉斯,史上最伟大的球员之一!(Two La Liga titles while playing a total of three games. You cannot argue with those numbers. One of the greatest of all time)

【曼联2-3客负铁锤帮,争四希望渺茫】

Takley(曼联球迷):如果说这场比赛还有什么积极的地方,那就是范加尔执教的比赛只剩两场了。(The one and only positive I can take from this game: Only have to put up with this fraud of a manager for two more games.)

CatharticEcstasy(曼联球迷):虽然这赛季踢得这么差,但是我们仍然有进军前四的希望……然后我们亲手把它毁掉了。(For all our terribleness this season we had a chance to still claim top 4. And we bottled it.)

Idislikemyroommate(曼联球迷):我们还有机会的,只要斯旺西击败曼城……(we still have a chance. All we need to do is hope Swansea beat City...)

jaisalpatel(利物浦球迷):你们也得赢了伯恩茅斯啊。(You do have to win your game too, you know...)

Idislikemyroommate(曼联球迷):艹,当我没说。(Fuck, nevermind)

【曼联比赛因为炸弹风波推迟,曼城平局基本锁定前四】

TenaciousProd(曼联球迷):马夏尔只需要进19个球就够了!(Martial you only need to score 19 goals..)

ajsadler(未知主队球迷):马夏尔单场19球难救主。(Martial scores 19 goals. Man Utd lose 20-19)

JohtoKing(英格兰球迷):我敢说防爆小组现在肯定觉得自己像傻子一样。(I bet whoever's job it was to clear the dummy devices feels like a right muppet now)

KX321(利兹联球迷):我就想知道那个不小心丢下手机的人现在是什么心情……(Want to know how the person responsible felt when he sat down this afternoon to watch the game……)

(图)大概……是这样?

F___TheZero(荷兰球迷):顺带说一句,纽卡主场已经爆炸了。(Uncontrolled implosion at St James' Park too)

renmego(阿森纳球迷):哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈本赛季最佳段子。(HAHAHAHAHAHAHA banter of the season)

【伊布宣布赛季末离开巴黎:我像国王一样到来,也将像传奇一样离开】

crautzalat(弗莱堡球迷):这个宣布离队的方式真是不能更兹拉坦了。(The most Zlatan way to announce his departure.)

explicitlatynx(巴伦西亚球迷):多希望有人能像兹拉坦的自恋一样爱我。(I want somebody to love me the way Zlatan loves Zlatan.)

MushroomHeart(巴黎球迷):按照传统,我们马上就要拿欧冠啦!(So as per tradition, we'll win the champion's league in the next few years! )

L3roadsord(米兰球迷):把这话去和米兰说啊。(Tell that to Milan)

OZL01(巴萨球迷):我是全宇宙最谦虚的人。——兹拉坦(I'm the most modest person in the universe. -Zlatan)

(最后这个高级黑,球迷朋友们get到了吗?)


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