国外也有段子手：4曾相识

大家好，欢迎收看本期“国外也有段子手”！上周，国际足坛上演了许多久未谋面的剧情，比如迪亚比打满90分钟比赛，阿扎尔梅开二度，法布雷加斯助攻帽子戏法……当然，也有很多似曾相识的情节：莱斯特城又拿下三分，巴萨重新找回状态，曼联补时绝杀，以及最理所应当的：

阿森纳重回第四。

唉，不得不说这个梗真是万古长青啊。好了，来看看外国段子手们有怎样的吐槽吧！

【阿森纳0-0桑德兰，他们又回到了熟悉的位置上……】

spoonsforeggs(纽卡球迷)：当阿森纳球迷总是如此痛苦吗？还是只有这场比赛是这样？(Is supporting Arsenal always this hard?)

Pigisdeado(阿森纳球迷)：总是如此。(Always like this.)

sjtnufc(纽卡球迷)：真是不能指望阿森纳。(Can't rely on Arsenal for anything)

yungchigz(阿森纳球迷)：谁说的，在让人失望这件事上，我从不怀疑阿森纳。(I beg to differ. They consistently disappoint me, I can rely on that.)

Shady_maniac(巴萨球迷)：桑德兰丢分了。(Dropped points by Sunderland)

hsvarsenal(阿森纳球迷)：这个世界上有四件事是亘古不变的：死亡、税收、碌碌无为的沃尔科特和不得重用的坎贝尔。(Death, Taxes, Walcott coming on and doing nothing while Campbell remains unused)

Goodlake(阿森纳球迷)：三十年莱斯特城球迷不知道你们在说什么呵呵。(I've always supported Leicester, I don't know what you're talking about.)

【莱斯特城4-0斯旺西，多赛一轮领先热刺8分，夺冠指日可待】

LikeWarmApplePi(莱斯特城球迷)：没有瓦尔蒂？那也没问题！(No Vardy, No Problem)

Baisabeast(切尔西球迷)：这么看，原来瓦尔蒂是毒瘤啊！(God Vardy dragged them down)

(本场比赛坎特的热点图……)

McGrifty(基多球迷)：听到现场球迷“巴塞罗那，我们来了”的呼喊了吗？太震撼了！("BARCELONA, WE'RE COMING FOR YOU!" Brilliant.)

ThisUsernameIsSexy(多特球迷)：真的很期待下赛季他们在欧冠中的表现。(Really looking forward to how they will perform in the CL next season)

29255Daystogo(曼联球迷)：小组赛出线之后碰巴黎，客场0-0主场1-0。之后碰皇马，客场，客场0-0主场1-0。半决赛碰巴萨，客场0-0主场1-0。决赛踢拜仁，1-0。足球皇帝拉涅利！！！(Gets out of the group stage, meets PSG in the Ro16. 0-0 in France, 1-0 in Leicester. Draws Real Madrid next round, 0-0 at the Bernabau, 1-0 at home. Barcelona in the semi's, 0-0 in Spain, 1-0 in Leicester. Bayern in the final. Leicester 1, Bayern 0. Claudio Ranieri is hailed as the king of football.)

thekhaos(皇马球迷)：对，再下个赛季他们就能拿世界杯了。(Next season: Leicester win the World Cup.)

【巴萨触底反弹，两场比赛进14球，苏牙连续大四喜】

salmaodamama(巴萨球迷)：看到8-0的比分，我整个人都8-0了。(After seeing the scoreline I was like 8-0)

(友情提示：请把8——0横过来看……噫这个好污)

2ez3ar(巴萨球迷)：去他妈的欧冠吧，我们现在也要当虐菜队！(Fuck the champions league, we're a small team bully now)

I_am_oneiros(巴萨球迷)：我们也就是面对保级队、内维尔的蝙蝠和贝尼特斯的皇马时能进这么多球了，这波不亏。(We can only score 4 goals vs relegation threatened teams, Gary Neville's Valencia, Benitez's Madrid and so on. I'll take it.)

AlmududlerBoy69(皇马球迷)：反正我们欧冠还没出局呢，你开心就好~( Don't mind that, at least were still in the Champions League.)

EvenGandhiHatesLVG(切尔西球迷)：苏牙你醒醒，这两场不是打诺维奇啊！(Ok who told Suarez that Deportivo are Norwich?)

(利物浦时期，苏亚雷斯3次面对诺维奇都上演帽子戏法)

Iliveforthis39(马竞球迷)：这哪里是触底反弹……这是触底之后直接上天了。(Well, that's one way to come back from a slump)

【曼联2-1埃弗顿晋级足总杯决赛，德赫亚扑点马夏尔绝杀】

Bloo2004(曼联球迷)：都别拦着我吹，德赫亚太特么牛逼了！(De Gea was absolutely spectacular tonight.)

Punerisaiyan(曼联球迷)：天佑传真机！(GOD BLESS THE FAX MACHINE!)

(纵观reddit，歪果仁似乎还没有形成天朝认爹的光荣传统=￣ω￣=)

YUHDEW(曼联球迷)：弗格森时间再现！(Fergie time is back!!!)

MunkyUK(威尔士球迷)：两边主帅的续命之战。(Winning manager gets a new contract.)

ACTUAL_TIME_TRAVELER(埃弗顿球迷)：马丁内斯啊，该准备求职简历了。(Hope your resume's up to date, Roberto.)

516nocnaes(阿森纳球迷)：马夏尔就是压垮马丁内斯的最后一根稻草。(Martial just put the nail in Martinez's coffin)

【皇马3-2逆转巴列卡诺，贝尔两球】

Samuraii889(巴拿马球迷)：达尼洛是我坚持梦想的动力，每天我都会问自己：“如果达尼洛都能加盟皇马，我也可以啊！”(Danilo is the reason why i hold on to my dream. I ask myself everyday: "If Danilo could reach RM, why not me?)

ForgetHype(秘鲁球迷)：感觉有那么一刻，齐达内都准备我行我上了。(For a second it looked like Zidane had enough of this shit and was gonna sub himself in.)

Harshit_khanna(皇马球迷)：“比赛要是输了，你们一人吃我一记头槌！”("If we lose, I'll headbutt the hell out of you...")

(你让我想起了狼堡……我讨厌狼堡！)

cieldarko(皇马球迷)：C罗不在，贝尔当家！(Bale needed to show up today in Cristiano's absence and he did)

protectmeorlose(皇马球迷)：说到让二追三，皇马真不是针对谁，在座的各位都是……(Seems like we’ve been very good at coming back from being 2 goals down)

kennyfiesta(皇马球迷)：谢谢狼堡的训练！(Thank you Wolfsburg for the training)