国外也有段子手：快去把鲁尼装冰箱里！

大家好，欢迎收看本期“国外也有段子手”！话说上周没有俱乐部比赛，我们的心情是这样的……

不过还好，国家队同样有许多精彩比赛：欧洲有英德、意西大战，南美也有巴西vs乌拉圭、阿根廷vs智利的强强对话。好了，一起来看看外国段子手们有怎样的吐槽吧！

【英格兰3-2逆转德国，凯恩瓦尔蒂进球】

errRobbie(英格兰球迷)：玛德我本来发誓不看今年欧洲杯的！如此大英，怎能不看！(For fucks sake, I promised myself I wouldn't get hyped for the Summer. It's coming home lads)

wwxxyyzz(桑德兰球迷)：这两个球都是“无中生有”创造出的机会！(Both of their goals came from nothing!)

2002_the_yearoflinux(江苏苏宁球迷)：别高兴太早啊，几个月前美国人也是这么庆祝友谊赛的，看看现在他们在哪呢;-) (Just remember Americans celebrating their friendly wins a few months ago, and where they are now. ;-))

silppstroke(英格兰球迷)：美国可没有瓦尔蒂。(They don't have Vardy though)

hailmattyhall(布拉福德球迷)：谁快去把鲁尼装进冰箱里！(Someone go and lock Wayne in a cupboard please)

d0mth0ma5(曼联球迷)：看这场比赛的时候儿子刚出生16个小时，我现在觉得他这一生都充满了希望。(As I watch this game in hospital with my 16 hour old son I can't help but feel that this gives him unsustainable expectations in this world.)

Cruiseway(英格兰球迷)：……快让他看一场你魔的比赛冷静一下。(Put some united games on it'll calm him right down)

MICOTINATE(南安普顿球迷)：这支年轻的英格兰太让人激动了，我已经准备好欧洲杯的时候被打脸了！(Looking forward to this young, exciting England side massively disappointing me in the summer!)

RandomLegend(德国球迷)：为啥我要看这种比赛，友谊赛就应该用全部身家买德国输。(Why do I even bother to watch these? I could bet my house on Germany losing a friendly at this point.)

【阿根廷2-1智利，赢球却场面混乱】

cuntanueva(河床球迷)：知道我们为什么踢得烂吗？梅西1v5的时候其他人一！动！不！动！别说跑位了，连吸引防守队员都不会。这真是迷之战术，十年了一直都是这样xjbt。(You wanna know why we suck? Look at this play. Messi vs 5 and EVERYONE ELSE IS STATIC. No one even moves to give him alternatives or carry a mark. This is so frustrating. It's been like 10 years of this shit.)

IsNoyLupus(博卡球迷)：拉维奇一定是钱包太沉跑不动了。(Lavezzi's wallet so heavy he cannot run)

CybeRuffian(希腊球迷)：阿根廷一个南美大国，tmd连一个会用梅西的教练都找不出来，简直是犯罪。(It's a crime against humanity that argentina can't find a bloody coach to utilize messi right.)

bdlblob(阿根廷球迷)：给马蒂诺跪了，手里这么好的阵容，每场比赛都在刷新xjbt的下限。(Martino is awful...how can you play so poorly and cowardly again and again with a world class squad?)

Terrible_Matador(什鲁斯伯里球迷)：感觉智利球员一穿上那身红色战袍就变身超级赛亚人了，真是不可思议。(So many Chilean players suddenly become world class when they put on that red shirt. It's uncanny.)

【巴西2-2乌拉圭，苏牙破门，路易斯状态低迷】

JordiCule(巴萨球迷)：变的是时间，不变的是苏牙血虐路易斯的剧情。(Year in, year out, Suarez makes Luiz his personal bitch.)

Abodinho(佛罗伦萨球迷)：不敢相信我还替路易斯说过话，我这洗地水平也是没谁了。(Man I can't believe I've ever defended Luiz, what a horrible defending job by him.)

Gleidom(巴西球迷)：大家都喜欢讨论伪九号，巴西也有个伪四号。路易斯是什么我不管，反正不是中后卫。(Everybody in the world talking about FALSE NINES. Brazil have a FALSE FOUR. David Luiz is everything, except for a centre back.)

imwatters(利物浦球迷)：巴西还是得重新征召弟媳。(Brazil needs Thiago Silva back.)

DREDem(皇马球迷)：这道理伊布的奶奶都知道，然而邓加就是不知道。(Well even Ibra’s grandma knows it while Dunga dosen’t)

【意大利1-1西班牙，博斯克被边裁撞倒】

iniestas(巴萨球迷)：这种动作连黄牌都不给！啊，黑哨！(Even not a yellow card for the linesman! Blatant!)

notjakee(利物浦球迷)：这应该直接给红牌啊，博斯克都没看见。(Straight red imo. Del Bosque never saw it coming.)

AlessioJuve(尤文球迷)：意大利现在的首发真是我见过的最差没有之一，还好新生代球员的质量都很不错。(This Italy lineup has to be the worst I've ever seen. At least the generation coming up is supposed to be pretty solid.)

VixVixious(尤文球迷)：意大利勇夺2022世界杯！(Qatar 2022 will be ours!)

demonictoaster(曼联球迷)：西班牙的球衣像是吃了一身热狗。(Spain's shirts look like they took part in a hotdog eating contest)

讲道理，还是我们的西红柿炒鸡蛋更像啊……o(*￣▽￣*)ゞ