国外也有段子手：当情人节遇上足球

亲爱的小伙伴们，在昨日美妙的情人节中，你是选择和亲爱的伴侣共度良宵，还是和基友们撸串看球呢？今天，本期“国外也有段子手”又和大家见面了，让我们看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧~

【黑贝补时建神功，枪手绝杀狐狸城】

HonestPromo(未知主队球迷)：今夜，我们都是莱斯特人！这简直就是实况大师联赛的现实版啊！(PES 2016 MyClub in real life lol. I’d like to be a Leicester fan from now.)

Gunnerhenrylol(阿森纳球迷)：情人节刚被女票甩了…但我现在真的比以前更高潮~(I just broke up with my girlfriend today but the game gives me more orgasm than her.)

clarkent4083(阿森纳球迷)：我的菊花从来没有像今天这样爽过。(My ass has never been this clenched in my life.)

awesomeness-yeah(阿森纳球迷)：本来计划看完球打灰机，现在看来没必要啦~(Planned a post match wank. Don't need that now.)

Djswagyoyo(未知主队球迷)：黑贝去年受了伤，现在康复回归，出场10分钟就进了球，比阿扎尔联赛进 球都多哦！(Welbeck got injured an year ago. He came back for 10 minutes. Still has more goals than Hazard in league this season.)

Lafekytin(切尔西球迷)：咳咳，阿扎尔本赛季还有两次助攻呢…助攻，懂吗？你家维尔贝克有助攻吗？(Hazard has 2 assists okay 2 ASSISTS how many does Welbeck have?)

【红军不怕远征难，六球大胜只等闲】

Dancingbear(阿斯维拉球迷)：我真搞不懂渣叔的战术啊，每场比赛既可能会赢个6-0，也可能会0-2输球。(I just can’t figure out Klopp’s strategy, it seems that every game we can win by 6-0 or lose by 0-2.)

Catbullshut(利物浦球迷): 你们啊，不要总想着把他批判一番。在多特的时候，西方什么球队他没打过？西班牙的皇马，比你们维拉不知高到哪里去了，渣叔和他谈笑风生！(Don’t be so superficial. Reviewing his experience in Dortmund you may not say that if you watch the game against Real Madrid in semi-final of UCL, far more brilliant than this one.)

Haulwardom(利物浦球迷)：说实话，我感觉球队的进攻线还是不行，至少该需要个特谢拉。(Honestly I still think the offensive line has to be strengthened and a Teixeira is needed.)

Blueisthecolour212(切尔西球迷)：想从中国再把特谢拉买回来？别痴心妄想了。另外，别忘了先看管好你们的库鸟。(Forget that, LFC doesn’t have capital advantages over China and be sure to keep Coutinho safe by the way.)

【奇妙点球配合佳，巴萨大胜塞尔塔】

Pedantic(巴萨球迷)：恩，这是典型的巴萨式胜利——漫天飞翔的上半场+无与伦比的下半场。(It’s a typical win of Barca style for a f**king shit on the first half but a fantastic show after the break.)

Nurilio87 (未知主队球迷)：如果让曼联来罚那粒点球的话，鲁队长把球传给马夏尔，小马再传给卡里克，接着再给斯莫林…到最后传着传着就传到德赫亚手里了…(If United tried that penalty, Rooney would pass to Martial, who'd then pass it to Carrick, then on to Smalling and back to De Gea.)

Slasher7 (奥林匹亚科斯球迷)：我真不是开玩笑，现在我已经感谢阿森纳把我们从欧冠小组赛淘汰了…现在只能希望MSN对你们温柔一点了…(100% no joke, thank you Arsenal for knocking us out of the Champions League. May MSN have mercy upon your soul.)

BanterPerDay(阿森纳球迷)：看见巴萨我不怕不怕啦，黑贝会绝杀，不怕不怕不怕啦~(That's cute since we have Danny Welbeck.)

kal109754(巴萨球迷)：我还是更喜欢2010年5-0皇马的那场比赛，穆里尼奥的球队那个赛季表现很好，却还是被我们打败了，那是真正的大师级足球。(I'm still partial to the 5-0 against Real back in 2010. Mourinho's Real had started out the season great, and we just slaughter them. It was a footballing masterpiece.)

YoSoyMilkChocolate (巴萨球迷) ：我认为本赛季的4-0更有味道~(I think the 4-0 at Bernabeu was slightly more satisfying)

BarcelonaBoobr(巴萨球迷)：咳咳，对我来说还是当年客场的6-2最好，简直像做梦。(Eh…To me the 6-2 will always be the most monumental El Clasico ever, so unexpected. )

RealMadridDONTYOUDARE(皇马球迷)：我去年买了个贝尔！我真不该来这里，你们这群禽兽！(WTF…I chose to read the wrong set of comments today.)

(图)苏神最终还是亮出了獠牙....

【齐祖光环耀全场，大胜毕包状态强】

Sandwichroast(皇马球迷)：在贝尼特斯时期，我们也能打出大比分的比赛，但这都是对阵弱旅时完成的，打强队却总是疲软。此次面对毕尔巴鄂依然能有如此好的状态，球队未来大有期望。(In Rafa’s time we do also have wins like this but those are all faced with weak teams and we acted awfully against tough opponents, this match gives us hope.)

Alwaysrealmadrid(皇马球迷)：光头的教练，运气通常都不会太差。(A bald coach, a good match.)

Gurneytech(曼城球迷)：瓜迪奥拉觉得很赞，另外曼联要不考虑考虑让韦伯带几天？(Pep would agree with that and Howard Webb may be suitable to replace LVG.)

亲爱的小伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播到这里啦，让我们下期不见不散！另外，相信大家的情人节都很快乐，摸摸大~

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