国外也有段子手：这剧本好像看过啊

大家好啊，欢迎收看本期“国外也有段子手”！本周足坛又是风云再起，先是欧冠16强抽签尘埃落定，之后狂人穆帅黯然下课，紧接着巴萨勇夺世俱杯完成五冠王伟业，最后皇马单场打进10球又完成一场屠杀。好了，让我们看看国外球迷们对这些热点事件的看法吧！

【欧冠16强抽签，切尔西叒踢巴黎，阿森纳叕碰巴萨】

TDT_Jshot(皇马球迷)：世界上有三样东西是永恒的：死亡、税收、切尔西踢大巴黎。(Death, taxes, and Chelsea vs PSG.)

FlamingBearAttack(林菲尔德球迷)：还有阿森纳踢巴萨。(And Arsenal and Barcelona.)

Chicago-Gooner(阿森纳球迷)：过去八年我们和巴萨踢过三次，和拜仁踢过三次。我真是曰了狗了(We've played Bayern and Barca three times each the past eight years. Ridiculous)

Sulphur32(阿森纳球迷)：嗯，到时候梅西单场打进20球，贝莱林直接被普约尔绑架。(Messi's going to score 20 goals against us and Puyol will kidnap Bellerin from the hotel in Barcelona)

InTheMiddleGiroud(阿森纳球迷)：欧足联，我***。(FUCK YOU, UEFA.)

Marco8_goal(尤文球迷)：欧足联，我***。(FUCK YOU, UEFA.)

【皇马10-2九人巴列卡诺，贝尔大四喜】

Matehzoar(赫尔城球迷)： 说进那么多球不尊重对手的我也是醉了。那你想让他们干嘛？我想领先后在后场倒脚才是更不尊重对手的做法吧。(Really pisses me off when people go on about them disrespecting them by scoring more. What do you want them to do? I think it's more disrespectful for them to just piss about with the ball in their own half without taking them seriously.)

Canucksitan(卢旺达球迷)：皇马一场比赛进的球和曼联过去11场比赛进的球一样多。(RealMadrid have scored as many goals today as Manchester United have in their last 11 games.)

SuperJazba(曼联球迷)：看场皇马的比赛都要受伤害……(No thread is safe)

Migraine_boy(曼联球迷)：15次射正，10个进球。你在逗我？(15 shots on target, 10 goals. Insane.)

Mink_man(曼联球迷)：范加尔做梦都达不到。(LVGs wet dream.)

Apparex1234(曼联球迷)：可是皇马的控球率只有51%啊，这要是放在曼联，范大厨就要杀人了。(What? No way!!! Madrid had 51% possession. LvG will murder the whole team if that happens.)

HippoBigga(巴萨球迷)：希望贝大师通过这场比赛一战封神，然后和皇马续约十年！(Hopefully this match convinces Flo that Rafa is the right man for the job and offers him a 10-year contract !)

J_reids92(阿森纳球迷)：我这是在看板球比赛吗……(Christ, it's a bloody cricket score.)

【官方：穆里尼奥下课】

Sheikh_and_Bake(斯旺西球迷)：切尔西花了6年时间请回穆帅，穆帅用1年带领切尔西复苏，用1年拿到双冠王，之后只过了15场比赛就被炒了。还有人说我们的董事会脑残吗？(斯旺西不久前炒掉了主教练蒙克)(They spent 6 years trying to bring him back, enjoyed 1 season of improvement, 1 double-winning season, and 15 bad games before firing him. And people said our board jumped the gun.)

Zangola(莱斯特城球迷)：莱斯特城-主帅终结者。(Leicester 'Manager Killers' City)

Jackw_(莱斯特城球迷)：讽刺的是十年前，正是穆帅接手了从蓝军下课的拉涅利。这真是毅种循环。(ironic that Ranieri was sacked at Chelsea in 2004 only to have Jose come in as his replacement? The circle is complete)

Din35h(阿森纳球迷)：切尔西炒掉了俱乐部历史上最伟大的主教练。第二次。(Chelsea's greatest manager ever and they've sacked him TWICE)

zazzlekdazzle(荷兰球迷)：佩刀离开巴萨就是为了来这里。唉。(Pedro left Barcelona for this, oy vey.)

cmsi89(切尔西球迷)：希望穆帅能去曼联拿下三冠王，好好地打阿布的脸。(Can't wait til he goes to United and wins the Treble)

【巴萨3-0河床夺世俱杯冠军，加冕五冠王】

cuentanueva(河床球迷)：我们比皇马强！(WE ARE BETTER THAN REAL MADRID!)

BRUNO-GOMEZ(巴萨球迷)：维尔马伦，十分钟1冠，传奇！(Vermaelen, another 10 minutes another trophy, LEGEND!)

McButtTasty(圣诞老人球迷)：穆尼尔真特么神烦。(Munir just lives to annoy me)

leotipler(巴萨球迷)：真是没用…总是在做无用的回传…太让人失望了(hes so useless.. He gets into good positions and plays a safe backpass..so disappointing..)

-OptimusPrimate(斯图加特球迷)：听起来像是名曼联球员啊。(Sounds like he belongs at United)

adamdabadboy(巴萨球迷)：天哪，(邹正的)伤太可怕了。(Fuck that injury was disgusting)

kawaii-grill(拜仁球迷)：是啊太吓人了，希望他尽快康复。(it looked horrible, hope he gets well soon :/)

yesungxiao(一位华人皇马球迷)：谢谢。(xie xie.)