我还记得,在一个国家的首都,有一位体态微胖身着西装的长者曾经说过:“我绝对不知道我一个把那不勒斯带到欧联的教练,怎么就来马德里了。我说另请高明吧,但是老佛爷告诉我高层已经研究决定了。于是我就来到了马德里。”
“当上教练之后我也没有干别的,总共就干了三件事。一是把球队的进攻搞得不像样子,二是国家德比主场输了4个,三是国王杯出局。如果说还有一点成绩就是用废J罗,但这些都是次要的,我主要的就是三件事情。很惭愧,只做了一点微小的工作。”
【官方:皇马国王杯出局】
COMMUNISTkat (葡萄牙球迷):传真机3-0皇家马德里。(Fax machine 3- madrid 0)
UnitedFaxMachine(曼联传真机):不是我的锅。(I did nothing wrong)
SnipeCity73(热刺球迷):你认识皇马传真机吗?你们两个一定能组成完美的智障组合。(Have you met REALMADRIDFAXMACHINE ? You two would make the perfect dysfunctional couple)
TetraDax(皇马球迷):你们就笑吧,别忘了我们是本赛季国王杯第一支保持不败的球队。(Y'all laugh now, but with that decision we are the first team this season to remain undefeated in the Copa Del Rey.)
Sqn420(皇马球迷):他说风雨中这点痛算什么,擦干泪,不要怕,国王杯要出局啦。(HAHA I LOVE IT)
ArabicVoltaire(巴萨球迷):是时候把这个贴出来了。年度最佳动图。(Time to post this again. Gif of 2015)
(图)如《水手》一样万能的GIF
Bannedb4this(阿森纳球迷):与巴萨赛后,贝尼特斯说:“我再也不想被这样羞辱了。”切里舍夫:“好的教练。”(Benitez (after Barca loss) : I never want to be humiliated like that again Cheryshev : I got your back, boss)
STL47(皇马球迷):一个首都球队,毫无利己的动机,把加泰人民的三冠王事业当做自己的事业,这是什么精神?(Real doing their part for Barca's treble)
【利物浦6-1血洗圣徒,斯图梅开二度,詹外脚背风骚助攻】
Likelatin_(利物浦球迷):0-1的时候我走进电梯,等我出电梯的时候斯图里奇已经梅开二度了。不说了我先回电梯了(I got in the elevator at my building, and by the time I got out (I live on the top floor) Sturridge had scored twice. I'm going back in the elevator)
IAltroUomo(利物浦球迷):你还在里面吗?已经5-1了。(Ur still in? Its 5-1 now.)
letissgoals(南安普顿球迷):足球?爱过。(don't even like football anyway)
(图)詹俊:“这个外脚背,我给满分!”
Aweirdcloth(阿森纳球迷):魔笛这球传的真好!(What a ball from Modric!)
Leaudric(皇马球迷):天哪……渣叔究竟为利物浦带来了什么啊(What...the....hell did klopp do to Liverpool O.o)
IceVest(利物浦球迷):自信。久违的自信。(Gave them confidence. Severely lacking for a long time.)
【保级大战,切尔西0-1伯恩茅斯】
bigderivative(英格兰球迷):我觉得切尔西下赛季还是有机会夺冠的。主要就看伯恩利和诺丁汉森林的引援质量了。(I still think Chelsea will win the league next season. It's just whether Burnley and Nottingham Forest have a good window.)
The_White_Django(纽卡球迷):赛季初你要是告诉我我们只落后切尔西4位,我肯定觉得你疯了。谢谢穆帅(If you had told me at the start of the season we'd be 4 places below Chelsea nearly half-way through the season, I'd have called you crazy. But look at us now, thank you based Mourinho)
Phigo50(热刺球迷):欧冠大胜马卡比之后,大家都说以前那个切尔西回来了。还真回来了!(They all said Chelsea were "back" after that CL win a few weeks back. Oh well!)
RtardDAN(曼联球迷):记得莫耶斯时期,都说我们是最烂的卫冕冠军。现在告诉我最烂的卫冕冠军是谁?大声点我听不见!(Remember when people were saying we were the worst champions ever under moyes? Now who?)
gulpgulp(曼联球迷):切尔西,一家无私奉献的俱乐部。(Chelsea are a club that just keep on giving)
emptyheady(曼联球迷):对,就像罗宾汉一样,劫枪济贫。(Give points to the poor, steal points from Arsenal. Like Robinhood.)
quup(阿森纳球迷):切尔西,从不让评论区失望。(thanks chelsea never let /r/soccer down)
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