国外也有段子手：救命啊，段子手鞭尸啦！

本周的欧洲足坛可是发生了不少惨案，先是阿森纳遭伤退乌龙失点三连击，再是皇马主场被没有梅西的巴萨完全打爆，接着利物浦大胜蓝月亮哈特再做背景板，最后国米4-0胜升班马透支了后面三轮的所有进球。毫无疑问，这些比赛简直是段子手的天堂，而身为惨案的受害者之一，小编也只能含着眼泪，在段子手无情的鞭尸之下做出这期栏目。下面就来看看歪果仁们是如何吐槽的吧！结尾有特殊嘉宾哦~

【国家德比，巴萨4-0血洗伯纳乌】

inter_yermaw(苏格兰球迷)： 0-3的时候看到梅西热身，那滋味我真是想都不敢想。(Imagine being 3-0 down and looking over to see Leo Messi coming on..)

(这位外国网友真是与你懂用户有着奇妙的默契呢~)

mushmancat(纽卡球迷)：伊涅斯塔的传球太性感了，本泽马肯定要拍下来敲诈他。(Iniesta's passes are so sexy Benzema is going to get a tape of this game and blackmail him)

neutralQPRfan(QPR球迷)：布斯克茨最后的那个动作一定是为了让本泽马更好地适应日后的监狱生活。(Busquets at the end, giving Benzema a foreshadowing of what's to come in prison.)

Fcbx347(巴萨球迷)：敲诈的好素材啊，是吧本子？(worth blackmailing for, right Benzy?)

King_Hizdahr(巴萨球迷)：我一直在想没有梅西C罗的国家德比将会是什么样，今天上半场算是见到了。(I've been wondering what an el clasico would be like without Messi or Ronaldo. The first half is pretty close.)

mushmancat(纽卡球迷)：为了缅怀巴黎恐袭中的遇难者，C罗默哀了整整45分钟。(Ronaldo paying his respects to Paris by taking 45 minutes of silence.)

Frediscool123123(巴萨球迷)：为皇马祈福。(#prayforReal)

notonetojudge(巴塞尔球迷)：说真的，皇马该买瓦尔蒂了。(Real really could've used Vardy today.)

ujussab(莱斯特城球迷)：瓦尔蒂为啥要去这种弱队啊。(Why would Vardy take a step down.)

cgar(巴萨球迷)：楼上你还有人性吗……(Damn. With no regard for human life.)

【国米4-0弗罗西诺内，登顶榜首】

FalcoLX(国米球迷)：糟糕，这场把下轮的进球都透支了。(Ah shit, we used next week's goal too.)

Mgdossantos(罗马球迷)：于是我们卖了利亚伊奇留了伊图尔贝。这就是罗马。(We got rid of Ljajic but kept Iturbe. JustRomaThings)

CMonday(国米球迷)：妈蛋一场比赛进了四个球？那后面三场比赛咋办啊？(Damn it. 4 goals in just one match? What should we do in the following 3 matches?)

Cerozz(国米球迷)：汉达诺-伊尔-维奇。(Handa doing the Neuer)

【阿森纳1-2遭西布朗逆转，阿尔特塔替补登场进乌龙】

CoolHandHazard(切尔西球迷)：让段子飞！(Let the banter flow)

iamMANCAT(切尔西球迷)：赢了诺维奇又看到阿森纳输球，真是完美的一天。(1-0 AT HOME AGAINST NORWICH? WEST BROM 2-1 ARSENAL? WHAT A LOVELY DAY.)

ProfPringles(阿森纳球迷)：输给中下游球队，关键球员受伤，失点。熟悉的厂景。(Losing to a bottom half team, crucial player injured, missing on a penalty. It's the Arsenal way.)

toblu(阿森纳球迷)：别忘了还有队长自摆乌龙。(Not to mention the own goal by our captain.)

Gyroflex(阿森纳球迷)：然后又是熟悉的一月不买人三月掉队五月争四，真特么是毅种循环。(i just cant wait to not sign anyone in January and put up with this same shit in march)

【利物浦4-1客胜曼城，斯科特尔世界波】

Conzo147(利物浦球迷)：主场1-2输给水晶宫，客场4-1大胜曼城，毕竟卧铺。(1-2 against Crystal Palace, 4-1 against City.#JustLiverpoolThings)

flongf(皇马球迷)：哈特果然背景板之王。(Another great goal on Joe Hart.)

ficus33(曼联球迷)：提醒一下没看比赛的各位，要不是哈特超神，这场说不定就7比1了。(All you need to know about this game was that Joe Hart was superb and it easily could have been 6 or 7-1)

syd_oc(利物浦球迷)：克洛普来的时候曾经说：“我不是救世主”。渣叔你坏坏。("I'm not the messiah", said Klopp when he arrived. You're a liar, Jürgen, a dirty, dirty liar.)

Baron05(曼联球迷)：下轮就是莱斯特城和我魔的榜首大战，一年前谁能想到啊。(Top of the table clash next week: Manchester United vs Leicester City.Who would've thought that a year ago.)

ujussab(莱斯特城球迷)：是啊，谁能想到你魔排名第二？(I mean who could have seen United at second?)

最后，让我们有请本期栏目的特殊嘉宾：

Martin Skrtel(斯科特尔)：真想每周都踢曼城啊！(I wouldn't mind if we played them every week!)