国外也有段子手：王侯将相，宁有种乎！

大家好，欢迎收看本期“国外也有段子手”！就在过去的一周，莱斯特城在一个赛季的拼搏之后，终于拿到了他们梦寐以求的英超冠军奖杯！拉涅利和他的球队告诉我们，冠军并不总是豪门之间的游戏，王侯将相，宁有种乎！金钱的力量不是绝对的，足球世界中依然存在着激情与梦想。

同时，欧冠半决赛也落下帷幕，马竞和皇马在两年之后再度会师决赛；曼城2-2战平阿森纳，英超的争四形势仍然扑朔迷离；而在西甲赛场，马竞输球丢掉了争冠希望，但谁是最终的冠军仍然要等到最后一轮结束之后才能揭晓。好了，让我们来看看歪果仁有怎样的吐槽吧！

【切尔西2-2逼平热刺，莱斯特城提前夺冠】

DiedPeipMuis(未知主队球迷)：“爸爸我睡不着，你能给我讲个睡前小故事吗？”“没问题~那是一个夏天，莱斯特城宣布任命拉涅利为新任……”“卧槽行了！这个星期讲第四遍了！”("Dad I can't sleep, can you tell me a bedtime story?""Sure buddy, 'twas a warm summers day when Leicester appointed Claudio Ranier..""Oh piss off! You've already told that four times this week!")

Egzon27(未知主队球迷)：“小样你给我闭嘴，这故事你至少得再听40遍！”(Shut up you little shit you're gonna listen to it 40 times more)

Jinzub(伯明翰球迷)：活久见系列。(LIFELONG)

Jayveesac(阿森纳球迷)：在将来，我能够自豪地对我的孩子们说，我见证了莱斯特城夺冠，我见证了这段神话！(I could proudly say to my future kids that I witnessed Leicester City win the Premier League trophy)

ACTUAL_TIME_TRAVELER(埃弗顿球迷)：阿扎尔，莱斯特城的传奇。(Eden Hazard: Leicester City Legend)

Lexisonfire(多特球迷)：切尔西本赛季的高光时刻：干掉热刺，帮助莱斯特城夺冠。(Chelsea's high point of 2015/16: Cockblocking Spurs to hand Leicester the title.)

Butchermorgan(切尔西球迷)：还有双杀阿森纳啊~(That or winning 2 times against Arsenal)

JimmySham(切尔西球迷)： 这个每年都能做到啊，没啥特别的。(Nah this happens every year, not that special)

_Ubiquitous(莱斯特城球迷)：两年前我在庆祝升超，一年前我还在庆祝保级成功，而现在！我他妈的在庆祝夺冠！(FUCK YES 2 YEARS AGO I WAS CELEBRATING PROMOTION. 1 YEAR AGO I WAS CELEBRATING SURVIVAL. TODAY I AM CELEBRATING THE LEAGUE)

Smit9891(未知主队球迷)：下赛季就是欧冠咯？(Champs League Next season?)

HelloTosh(未知主队球迷)：再过一年，莱斯特城就要勇夺世界杯啦！(And somehow the World Cup the next year!)

【马竞1-2客负拜仁，总比分2-2，马竞凭借客场进球晋级决赛】

EenGandiHatesLVG(切尔西球迷)：西蒙尼这脾气……如果有一天他去做大保健的时候开了一辆烂车，他一言不合就能把车砸了。(There is no doubt in my mind Simeone has slit a hooker's throat after a poor nights performance from her)

DawdlingDaily(切尔西球迷)：不敢相信他就那样打人。(I can't believe he slapped nice suit guy)

UncleWittgenstein(阿森纳球迷)：是啊，被打的那家伙真是一脸懵逼。(Yeah that poor guy looked so bewildered.)

(图：可怜的马竞领队……)

tasmanianhero(斯托克城球迷)：奥布拉克真tm是个怪兽！(My word Oblak is a fucking BEAST)

DatGuyRich(曼联球迷)：对于中立球迷来说，这场比赛真是10分精彩！拥有所有好看的元素！ (10/10 game for us neutrals. Literally had everything!)

Bayernownz1995(美国球迷)：除了一个成功罚进的点球。(Except a successful penalty)

agareo(未知主队球迷)：其实失点比点球更好看啊~( Unsuccessful penalties are better to watch.)

【皇马1-0曼城，贝尔制胜球，比赛内容乏善可陈】

anglocunt(曼联球迷)：这绝对是史上最无聊的欧冠半决赛了，我就这样干了两碗热翔。(This might go down as the most boring CL Semi-final ever over two legs, just two absolute shit games)

Kloppite1(利物浦球迷)：曼城这个表现……这tm就很尴尬了。(Embarrassing performance from City)

EvenGandhiHatesLVG(切尔西球迷)：曼城为什么不上阿圭罗？(Why didn't City field Aguero today?)

dogdaysarenotover(皇马球迷)：你没看见吗？在佩佩的口袋里啊。(You didnt see him? He’s in Pepe’s pocket.)

(俚语小知识：如果佩佩防死了阿圭罗，歪果仁就会说Aguero is in Pepe’s pocket.)

KingJamesX(未知主队球迷)：这是一场史诗级别的对决，交战双方都是欧洲足坛的巨人，他们一共获得了10座欧冠冠军奖杯！(A match between two European giants. These two clubs together share 10 European cups. This is huge)

imahappyone(巴萨球迷)：……我和科比合砍81分？(Kobe scored 81 points with me?)

red157(布里斯托城球迷)：我就想知道，亚亚图雷花了多少钱在球场里看比赛的？(How much did Yaya have to pay to get such a good view of watching the game?)

TheLookOutGrey(未知主队球迷)：无法理解为什么亚亚图雷还在踢职业足球。(I don't understand how Yaya Toure is still playing professional football)

haibara(皇马球迷)：伊布的奶奶跑的都比他快。(Zlatan’s grandma could run faster than him.)

【曼城2-2阿森纳，争四形势扑朔迷离】

big_swinging_dicks(未知主队球迷)：阿圭罗今天状态真好，周中欧冠轮休的效果不错。(Aguero massively benefitting from not playing mid week.)

TooMuchBanterPerDay(阿森纳球迷)：希望每个曼城球员都像丫丫一样逼抢。(I wish more city players would press like Yaya)

Frogster1942(曼城球迷)：问题是他丫的根本不逼抢啊……(Wait, but Yaya doesn't- oh.)

Availableusername10(曼联球迷)：当了两个小时的阿森纳球迷，我都快想自杀了。不过还是谢谢你们。(Was an Arsenal fan for 2 hours and it already made me want to kill myself But also thanks)

jfmmasv(未知主队球迷)：别想太多，他们只是在保卫范加尔。(They just want you to keep LVG)

【马竞1-2莱万特争冠已无望，巴萨下轮赢球就夺冠】

uknowSawyer(切尔西球迷)：输给已经降级的队伍，马竞丢冠也丢的这么有水平。(What a way to throw away any chances of winning the league. Against bottom of the league who's already relegated.)

kevin_1994(未知主队球迷)：阿贾克斯刚才也这么作死来着。(Ajax did it earlier too.)

JaegarJaquez(皇马球迷)：天灵灵地灵灵，巴萨输球或者平。(Barca lose or draw pls.)

(借用我懂段子手的热评~)

Jayveesac(阿森纳球迷)：下轮就是皇马巴萨定胜负的时候了。一颗赛艇！(One game each for Madrid and Barcelona for the Liga title. Super exciting)

nnerba(未知主队球迷)：然而巴萨可能上半场就3-0领先了。(Barca will probably lead 3-0 at half time.)

MIDGET_ANAL_FISTING(巴萨球迷)：拒绝毒奶！(DONT JINX IT)

返回体育新闻首页>>